9:14 pm - Sun, Mar 2, 2014

T: I’m giving the show a C+. It was just…average…fine…no real complaints.

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8:15 pm

T: Oh…John Travolta…so sad. And who was it you just introduced? Looks and sounds suspiciously like Idnina Menzel…but according to you…this is some…one else? That hair shit is getting to his brain.

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7:42 pm

T:  Pink is simply incredible.  Liza Minelli scared me.  I’m under the couch hiding…

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7:17 pm

T: Classy, classy, sweet and lovely Lupita. Just heartwarming and clearly so deserved! (Even MauiLovesChachi has a heart!)

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6:33 pm

T: Shit. Kate Hudson is FLAWLESS. How to get a guy in 10 seconds flat, Katie!

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6:04 pm

T: Ellen…is Ellen. She’s fine. Bad…tux though. Classy Leto. Pharrell makes me HAPPY, damn it!

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5:10 pm

T: Put your hair up, Jen Garner.

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4:53 pm

T: Julia = A+ (bite me!)

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4:40 pm
2 notes

T: Kerry Washington. One of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. GLOWING.

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4:36 pm

T: Charlize is stunning. Shocker. Love the black and the straps with that diamond. Nice, C. Nice.

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4:35 pm

T: BTW, M—I think Lena is to blame for Lena’s strapless looks.

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4:34 pm

T: Long time mystery: why the gray hair, Kelly Osbourne?

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4:33 pm

T: M’s right. Cate Blanchette is stunning.

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4:32 pm

T: I stand by this—as a gay man, I’d still marry Jennifer Lawrence. And she looks good! And strike me dead, Kristin Cavilarri looks pretty damn good on E!

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4:30 pm

T: We had the same idea, M. Well, I’m going to call my portion half-assed live blogging. Welcome to the Oscars!

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