5:47 pm - Sat, Oct 11, 2014

Fall TV: Shit, Gold, WTF. SUNDAYS

T:  Well, well, well.  MauiLovesChachi returns for the first new update in a year.  The Maui portion this has spent the last year trying  not to die. The Chachi portion is out selling you stuff you don’t need (hey—it’s what we advertisers do, F off and watch/buy stuff).  So I have no idea how often I/we’ll be back, but you better kiss the screen you f’ing read our shit on.

While M is pretty much all cable and streaming, I, T, continue to wag the Broadcast flag.  Along with everything else.  So, sit back, look at pretty pics and read this shit.  It’ll totally change your life.  Smirk.  I’ll update daily this week.

SUNDAYS

Sundays aren’t the scheduling problem they can sometimes be.  For now. Broadcast has a couple strong shows, and the king of all cable (and face it, TV in general) is finally back.

Watch Or I Hate You:  CBS’s The Good Wife.  Still one of the classiest, best shows on all of TV/streaming.  The writing grows every season.  The actors handle the “turn on a dime” storytelling like the pros they are.  Juliana completely deserved her Emmy (#2 for Alicia) and Matt Czursky continues to be one of the most “I want to fuck your brains out” dudes on anything. And the guy is really bringing it this season.  Best supporting cast out there. It’s just the best.  Period.

Matt Czuchry Picture

Watching…Because I’m Supposed To?  I’d throw Madame Secretary into this slot.  Good cast—especially Tea Leoni who, in my opinion, can do no wrong.  Technically, I’m still too young to like the show as much as I occasionally do.

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 But it passes the time.  And there are worse ways to pass said time (Footbal on NBC—blah…anything on ABC—dead (sorry Revenge).  FOX—well, if you like animation…FOX is sort of for you. Expect Brooklyn Nine-Nine to move (though I’m not sure where—FOX is an unmitigated disaster this season).  Mulaney, which never should have been on their air, will be cancelled in short order.  And then you’re left with just your animation.  Enjoy the fumes.

The Almighty (aka:  cable):  AMC’s The Walking Dead meanders back into our lives to scare the shit out of us and give us one of the best hours on TV period.  Is Darryl gay?  I sure hope so, though I don’t know why it’s really relevant.  He’s just hot.  Don’t kill Glenn.  Which means they will.  Everyone I know watches and it’s one show that we can literally—almost all collectively, agree is great.  It’s tough to pull off “edge of your seat” these days.  Really fucking hard.  TWD manages it quite well.  

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And there you go.  Watch yourself some Bill Hader on SNL tonight (40? Feels like it.  That’s for sure).  If you haven’t seen The Skeleton Twins with Hader and Kristen Wiig…I seriously don’t want to know you.  

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You’re stupid.  I kind of hate you.  So go see that.  Then watch a little Stefan tonight.  And settle in for tomorrow.  With the giddy anticipation of Monday’s analysis waiting for you with a big red bow on it.

And just because I mentioned SNL, I can’t not throw up a pic of one of the funniest women to have ever been on the show.  EVER.  I’m practically crying Tammy Faye tears I’m so sad about Jan Hooks. Thanks for the fun, lady.  You were legendary.

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10:31 am - Sat, May 3, 2014

T Critique: The (not at all) Amazing Spiderman 2

I’m going to tread lightly here.  But honestly.

Best:  Andrew Garfield.  Definitive Spiderman.  But much more than the confining character.

Andrew Garfield.

The real New York City.

Oh, did I mention Andrew Garfield>

So So:  Emma Stone.  A waste.  Nora Walker, er, Sally Field…with nothing to do.

Ruins every movie he touches:  Jamie Foxx.  Ick.

CGI New York City.

The movie is incrredibly predictable.  You can see every plot point coming from miles away.

This franchise is massively important to Sony.  But they need to rest it.  I know it’s complicated with Marvel being owned by Disney now, but there haas to be a way.

Bottom line:  If you like mindless entertainment, you may enjoy this thing.  I did not.  At all.

D+

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9:14 pm - Sun, Mar 2, 2014

T: I’m giving the show a C+. It was just…average…fine…no real complaints.

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8:15 pm

T: Oh…John Travolta…so sad. And who was it you just introduced? Looks and sounds suspiciously like Idnina Menzel…but according to you…this is some…one else? That hair shit is getting to his brain.

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7:42 pm

T:  Pink is simply incredible.  Liza Minelli scared me.  I’m under the couch hiding…

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7:17 pm

T: Classy, classy, sweet and lovely Lupita. Just heartwarming and clearly so deserved! (Even MauiLovesChachi has a heart!)

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6:33 pm

T: Shit. Kate Hudson is FLAWLESS. How to get a guy in 10 seconds flat, Katie!

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6:04 pm

T: Ellen…is Ellen. She’s fine. Bad…tux though. Classy Leto. Pharrell makes me HAPPY, damn it!

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5:10 pm

T: Put your hair up, Jen Garner.

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4:53 pm

T: Julia = A+ (bite me!)

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4:40 pm
2 notes

T: Kerry Washington. One of the most gorgeous women I have ever seen. GLOWING.

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4:36 pm

T: Charlize is stunning. Shocker. Love the black and the straps with that diamond. Nice, C. Nice.

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4:35 pm

T: BTW, M—I think Lena is to blame for Lena’s strapless looks.

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4:34 pm

T: Long time mystery: why the gray hair, Kelly Osbourne?

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4:33 pm

T: M’s right. Cate Blanchette is stunning.

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