T: We had the same idea, M. Well, I’m going to call my portion half-assed live blogging. Welcome to the Oscars!
M: Cate Blanchett is so stunning that she made the unflappable Bono flap
M: I’m so late - 25 min into red carpet. Lena Dunham is pretty and has slimmed down as well. Who the fuck keeps putting her weak shoulders in a strapless?!
2014 Golden Globes Live Blogging
T: After the disaster that was just me typing up the entire red carpet and having it disappear…here we go.
Tina and Amy. Can’t get off to a bad start. Amy’s got blue on now Tina still has hair that’s not hers on her head. But you’d have known that if my fucking red carpet commentary wasn’t dead.
Typical banter. They play better than almost anyone in Hwood together. Amy wins looks this round.
Tom Hanks is old and confused. It’s OK Tom.
Great line up of presenters and nominees tonight. Seriously.
Nice jab at hollywood/women/agesim with Meryl the butt…sort of. Really Hwood is the butt. In lots of ways.
Tina said there was an explosion at a wig factory. Is that why this fell on her head? It’s almost as distracting as her hair color commercials.
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss is smoking a blue cig. Funny…but stale, really. Jokes about Marty’s looks, height and glasses…Ha! George Clooney will be sucked into space rather than be seen with a woman his own age. Ha.
Jokes about women, weight. Funny Jonah Hill joke. He SEEMS to be less of an ass than the Rolling Stone interview painted as. That would not be a bad thing.
Some racial jokes. Boring. Talking Netflix now. Snapchat joke. Zzzzzzzz. There’s Kerry Washington. Gorgeous and pregs. Talking about their SNL colleagues. Lame jokes…Masters of Sex joke. Original. I’m falling out of my chair in shock.
First award: Sandra Bullock and someone else are presenting. Oh. Tom Hanks. That was awkward. They had them enter from the audience. That’s going to save SO MUCH time. Ridiculous.
Best Supporting Actress. I think it’ll be Jennifer. But secretly want Julia…Jennifer wins! Cute as a fucking button. Don’t LOVE the dress…but she’s gorgeous and I’d marry her. And I’m gay. Like, I LOVE THAT I’m GAY. Ya know? But I’d marry her. Unless someone beats her to me.
Nice speech from Jen. Very Jennifer. ;) Sweet, hitting all the right notes. Grateful, cute, genuine, real. At least she is in my head.
Mila Kunis and a chunky Tatum Channing (I didn’t say that was a bad thing, now did I. Best Supporting Actress in that weird-just-be on television mosh pit of series. Jackie Bisset won. Didn’t even hear for what. She’s lost in the audience. This up from the audience thing is DISASTER. K. This chick is pretty emotional Veddy British. Veddy classy. Tasteful dress over those fake boobs! Cute. Oh, a shot of Julia and Meryl. My money shot of the night (that’s kinda f’ing sad). This chick is talking and talking. Music plays her off. Bye. Oh. She’s putting up a fight. And cussing! Awesome. ”Go to hell and don’t come back!” I like this chick! She WILL NOT STOP TALKING. And now this chick is talking about beauty treatments. Get the hell off the stage. Commercial. It’s very clear this is going to be tedious minus the booze. But you need T around, don’t you? For like, our 7 blog posts a year.
When we come back, more fun! Glitz! Glamour! Boring shit! People lost in the audience. Fucking America’s Most Wanted got cancelled. We could really use them now to help these innocent little actors to the stage! It’s really very comical.
Naomi Watts (looks good—I’m going to try the fashion here as they appear. I can’t sit through the red carpet again and recreate the magic that was lost. Not even for you fluffy cat lovers. Miniseries: Liberace. Whatever, Candelabra. These winners are seated in Russia, apparently. Seriously—Behind the Candelabra IS an interesting movie. If your bored, a woman or gay, you’ll like it. Boring speech by Jerry Weintraub.
Actress-Miniseries or TV Movie: Tough category. Elisabeth Moss wins (Don’t like anything about what is on any part of her body. She’s fucking lost in the audience, anyway). She cussed. Clearly and obviously for the dumbass that stumbled here. It’s not LIVE, Live. Boring speech. I DO like her. I do. Hair, makeup and wardrobe need to be fired for her.
Matt Damon is on stage. Cute as always. Nice and thin. He’s just intro’ing a movie. Captain Hook Kills The Pirates. Or something like that. Captain Phillips. Whatever. Commercial.
E! Golden Globe Catch Up--Golden Globes Next @5
- Well. Fashion Recap shall follow. Tumblr just erased and hour and 57 minutes of posting. I'm thrilled with Tumblr right now.
- 2014 Golden Globes
Live Blogging the Globes - E! at 3p PDT and arrivals, NBC 5p PDT for the Globes
T is handling duties today.
The Film No One Will Remember For Awards Season: The Spectacular Now
T: Certainly, there are other worthy films this year that could be listed under this article’s header. And certainly there will (are!) more to come (I have it on trusted authority Nebraska is quite awesome). But I want to point out a movie I critiqued here, this summer: The Spectacular Now.
Amazing performances all around. Miles Teller WILL be a star. Shailene Woodley put the mess of The Secret Life of the American Teenager behind her (actually, she did that with The Descendants). Supporting cast is amazing as well. It’s just a wonderfully acted movie.
Which, of course, is nowhere without a script to back it up. A director to create a vision. And this movie had both in spades.
No one will even think about a movie about high school seniors. They perceive it as FOR high school seniors. It’s not. It’s truly…spectacular. And if my 66 year old mom and 69 (?!) year old stepdad can see it and love it…I assure you. It’s everything I’m saying it is.
How I Met Your Mother Sucks
T: I can be silent no longer. I’m simply amazed at how How I Met Your Mother has imploded. What was once the second coming of Friends (that’s a compliment), has become the worst experience ever. Everything about the show is forced and shoved down our throats.
So, when it began, HIMYM was this cutesy little show. We always knew Ted would meet the mother, duh. But years dragged on and on as the writers/creators didn’t want to lose their bread and butter. Is there anyone who didn’t want Ted and Robin together? I guess it’s possible. But they wrote themselves into such a corner…what a shame.
Which leads to the mother. WHO THE FUCK CARES! At this point, seriously, who cares who this chick is. We aren’t invested in her—despite the title of the show. She’s some stupid bitch who came in to ruin what was once a fun show. Nothing against the actress in the role. This is all directed to the lazy writer/creators.
Horrible way to go out. And sad. When it was good, HIMYM was really good. It’s not now. At all. Boo.